Be the Change...It's a Choice!

Toxic Stress hurts people and hurt people hurt people and we can’t change other people so what do we do?  We become the change we want to see in the world!

What is happening in this country is creating extreme toxic stress.  So many decisions are being made out of fear.  Individuals in leadership roles are acting without awareness of their personal emotional wounds.

It is time for an Evolution… here are some questions for us each to ponder… and truly consider before we blame anyone for anything….slow down, take a deep breath and just ponder:

Who am I? --- What is my story? --- What are my fears about: money, relationships, health and career.  Am I operating from a place of well being?  Do I feel good about my life?… What challenges do I need to overcome?

Many people have childhood wounds that have been “brushed under the rug”. Our leaders have too.  They are afraid, worried, concerned that something will happen… yes,  I often hear the word “AFRAID”!  Our words allow us a window into our subconscious thoughts.

When we are in fight, flight or freeze as a result of fear our brain does not work well and we do not make the best decisions.  Traumatized people traumatize people. 

What do we need to do to stop the trauma from escalating?  How can "we the people" get regulated and stop blaming… stop fighting?

We are a country in fear.  We are engaged in traumatic events that create a toxic environment.  Those individuals who chose to defend the decisions that are “inhumane” are operating from their own fear.  Those individuals who are actually taking children from their parents are acting out of fear of losing a job!

As Mahatma Gandhi says:  “Be the change you want to be in the world!”  Yes, each one of us has to show up aligned with values that are compassionate, kind and grounded in a state of wellbeing.

Photo by  Ishant Mishra  on  Unsplash

Photo by Ishant Mishra on Unsplash

How can we focus on wellbeing? …  here are some questions to ask:

What would it be like if there was less fear?

Which fears are healthy and which are toxic?

What can we do to build trust in each other – our family members, our neighbors and our co-workers and all humans around the world?

Why do this reflection?

When we identify our fears, we can determine if they are real or imaginary, healthy or toxic. 

When we address our own fears, we can think logically and come up with solutions.

Many people “predicted this would happen with this political administration” and what you focus on is what happens. Where attention goes energy flows! How many people wake up each morning and check the news to see what good has happened in the world?  Our brain is programmed for seeking negative actions in order to protect us.  However, we are no longer cavemen and it is time to evolve

Technology is taking over, and our egos are being challenged. The only thing in the way right now is emotion!  How we respond to our emotions and feelings is directly related to how efficient and effective our brains are when thinking and problem solving.  Dr. Daniel Siegel shows us the scientific evidence.  We can manage our emotions and engage with others from a place of kindness and compassion, and we have methods for learning these skills if it is not happening automatically.

Where is our/your power?  I say it is in the Present Moment! Be careful not to give it away.  Know who you are and where you are and how you are feeling.  Stay grounded.  Don’t take on the toxic stress and don’t create more negative energy.

What if we focus on peace and love?  What if we focus on taking care of our-selves and immediate family?  What if we wake up and look for something to be grateful for and give gratitude?  What if we take time to get grounded in who we are and the present moment?

I believe that the more people that go inside and recognize and dissolve their fears and limiting beliefs the more we can find a healthy resolution to many of the issues we are facing including changing out policies and political system.  If we operate out of fear, we will continue to see more limiting outcomes. 


Some might feel that this is a passive stance in the face of what is happening in the world.  I will challenge that because I believe that where focus goes energy flows and that we can only change our own behavior.  Defensive posturing creates more defensiveness, curiosity and open-mindedness create opportunities for connection. 

Have you read the book the Mindful Nation by Congressman Tim Ryan?? “How a simple practice can help us reduce stress, improve performance and recapture the American Spirit? “

Everything is a choice.

I choose love.

I choose wellbeing.

I choose to continue to be the change I want to see in the world!

How about you?  If you want to join me and build a community to continue to shift the focus from fear to love contact me at or visit my website at


Jessie GrahamComment